Why do I fail at life so hard?

I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL

at life. Geez, it just seems like everything I've done in the last couple days has just been a failure. I can't do anything right and now I just hate myself. It's come to the point where I just want to be shot and be put out of my failing misery.

Exhibit A:

I have failed yet again. I tried to make cupcake pops and just ended up with a mess. The cake wasn't the fail. That was actually pretty good tasting. It was the rest of it that failed really hard. Actually, maybe the cake did fail. It was really greasy when I was trying to roll it into little balls. That was so disgusting. Man, I used to really like baking, but the last couple attempts I've made have failed miserably. I hate myself.

From Food Creations

Absolutely nothing about this was a success. Every step kept getting worse and worse until I just wanted to smash everything.

This is what it's supposed to look like: http://www.bakerella.com/make-your-cupcakes-pop/

I wish I could just be good at one thing. But I'm not. I suck at everything I do, and then when I finally think I'm doing something right. I realize it's wrong or suddenly I can't do it anymore. I hate myself and I hate my life. But there's no one to blame but myself and the crap luck that I have. I don't blame my parents and I don't blame God. I just blame me and life. Not everyone can be a success. I know I'm not the biggest failure ever. I know that there are others out there that definitely have it worse than me. But right now, none of that seems to matter.

It's times like these when I think, "gosh Rachel, you're such a failure. Why don't you just give up on life. The world would be a much better place without you. Or maybe it doesn't even matter because it's not like I even made a difference in the world. I'm just a tiny spec, tinier than all of the other human specs on the face of the planet. Nobody even knows my name." But then something good usually happens to get me out of my depressed mood. Well, I'm waiting....I'll probably be waiting for the rest of my sad life.

"Explain to me, this conspiracy against me"

Yeah, that probably sounded like I was talking about the cricket conspiracy, but no, I was actually talking about my computer. And amazingly right now, I'm listening to genius mixes on iTunes and "Conspiracy" by Paramore just came on right now (after I already typed the title of this blog). Anyways, would anyone like to explain to me why my computer hates Bloon Tower Defense 4 and me in general? Every time I play this game (oops I lost) my computer likes to shut off, especially when I'm right in the middle of a level that's close to the end. I used to think that the reason my computer shut off in my face was divine intervention telling me that I should go do what I need to that's not on the computer, but I'm on vacation and I have nothing to do, especially at midnight, WTF computer?!?! Please don't shut off again so I can finally beat this on hard.

And what would you know, my computer shut off in the middle of me writing this, and I was on level 30. FML!!!! And now Firefox is going supper slow. Why is everything going wrong right now?!?! And nobody knows how badly I wanted to throw this computer and make sure I broke it, and stomp on it until it was just a bunch of little pieces. Ok, I think I'm done with this rant now.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

P.S. I hope someone listens to this song. It's not the best song ever, but it was a bitch to get this embedded here.

I Love Paul Wesley

And the rest of The Vampire Diaries cast. Yesterday I went to the Vampire Diaries meet and greet in LA. It was advertised as "meet the cast of The Vampire Diaries," so naturally you would assume the three main stars would automatically be there. Well, we got in line an hour before the meet and greet was supposed to start and then we found out that only Paul Wesley was gonna be there. The guy told us that Ian Somerhalder would be at the Q&A after the meet and greet but that Nina Dobrev wouldn't be able to make it because she was stuck on the east coast. I was a little upset about that, but at least we would be able to see Ian. The guy also told us that we would be able to take pictures of, but not with Paul. It ended up that he was lying because when we got to the front, they told us we couldn't take pictures. Well, after about 2 1/2 hours of waiting, we finally got into the store. Then they told us, the only thing he can sign is the poster they were giving us, that he couldn't personalize it, no pictures and no touching, not even a handshake. So, finally it was my turn and I can't even really remember everything that happens because when I meet famous people I kinda lose myself. Anyways, Paul was so nice!! He asked me my name and then said oh hi Rachel, how are you doing, thank you so much for coming. And the whole time he made full eye contact until I left. I still can't get over how nice he was. Oh, and I should mention that the girl that went before me got to shake his hand because he initiated it and she told him that she had been waiting for such a long time and he said, "well I hope it was worth." He is so nice, I'm so glad I waited in line for hours for somebody nice and not some mean bastard who doesn't even care about his fans. Next time, I'm gonna shake his hand, even if they tell me I can't because I don't think he'll mind.
So after that, we went down stairs to get a spot for the meet and greet. When we got there A Fine Frenzy was playing, which I really didn't care about, I just wanted to see the Q&A with Paul and Ian. It took Ian forever to get there, so this one dude was trying to entertain the crowd by giving away merch to people who answered trivia questions correctly and ask the fans what questions he should ask during the Q&A. They also gave away bags, but of course, they ran out even though they said everyone would get one, liars. Anyways, while we were waiting, we kept getting updates on Ian and we got a nice surprise that he was on his way in the helicopter and that Nina was with him. So finally after traveling for hours, they started the Q&A somewhere between 7:45 and 8:30, but it was only about 20 minutes long. To wrap this up, there were a lot of annoying, screaming girls (some of whom cried after meeting Paul), the three from the cast seemed very nice, especially Paul because I actually talked to him, and I hope they do this again sometime, because now I'm prepared. Paley Fest, here I come.




From the top the to bottom: Paul, Nina, and Ian after the Q&A; the signed posters; the display at the front of the store

AHHH, I'm so bored.

I'm so bored right now. I really don't know what to do. And I'm hungry. This is a really bad combination. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH................I'm bored.





P.S. I'm bored.

**EDIT: This should show how bored I was:

From The World According To Rachel

Green Day on SNL?

Ok, so I don't know when Green Day was on SNL, but I just found this video from a link on Twitter. It was pretty funny (unless you don't like Will Ferrel at all):



If it came on already, which it probably did, I'm pissed because I missed recording this on my DVD recorder. If it hasn't aired yet, which I'm not sure if that's even possible since it's LIVE, I'm confused. See, this is what happens when I don't keep up with news on Twitter.

On a small side note, this morning I woke up from a dream involving Jack and Alex from All Time Low. They were doing a signing after a concert the night before. The signing was taking place outside of my old elementary school, and there were a bunch of people there that I knew, but in real life I don't think they are fans or even know who All Time Low is. Anyways, someone wanted to take a big group picture. Then after I was talking to Jack and Alex and Jack asked me what was the first concert I went to. I told him and I didn't remember and I was thinking about it. Then he told me his first concert was 30 Seconds to Mars. Then he asked me what my first concert was again, this time I replied Santana. Then he asked me what his first concert was. I started thinking about it, but then Alex answered the question correctly. Then Alex started talking about his first concert, but instead of actually describing a concert, he was talking about going to a sorority. Here comes the weird part, in the middle of Alex describing the sorority, Jack started kissing him. Then, instead of having a conversation with those two, I was at a computer screen, like the whole thing I had just experienced was really a video on the internet. Something popped up on the screen, like a quiz after a video and asked me what was the first concert Jack ever went to. I'm not sure if I answered it correctly because after that I woke up, but I think the reason why they were kissing was so the people who were giving the quiz could see if I was paying attention to Jack's questions and answers, especially because he repeated the concert he went to, like it was important and he wanted me to pay attention to that.

Ok, that's enough about weird things. And to think, all of that was supposed to be a small side note. I wonder if Jack has ever even been to a 30 Seconds to Mars concert....

Pure Greatness

An actual conversation between my grandpa and me:

Me (at 7:12pm): Aren't the Lakers playing tonight?
Grandpa (while watching the Detroit vs. Phoenix game): Yeah, but they don't play until 6:30. What time is it?
Me: 7:12
Grandpa: Aww man, what's the point in watching now, it's probably almost over.
So he changed the channel and it wasn't almost over, it was the 2nd quarter if I'm not mistaken, and the Lakers were up by a huge amount of points. Then he started talking about Oklahoma City and saying "oh, these people are from Oklahoma, who are they against the Lakers?" basically implying this was an easy win for the Lakers. (BTW this is my translation from Spanish). I was thinking to myself, it better be after some of the ridiculous losses of this season. Anyways, below is a video of highlights.

And to think, my grandpa almost missed this game (dang it, now I lost):


Click here for a link the the page: http://www.nba.com/lakers/news/091122_gameday_thunder.html