I'm so frustrated, I just threw a fit

I just finished watching Vampire Diaries with my mom. Katherine got the best of them and was compelling Aunt Jenna the whole time, so Elena goes over to Stefan's house and he says, "I already know what you're going to say." Anyways, she says it's over. She's been too selfish because she loves him and she knows how much he loves her, but they can't do this anymore, so she breaks it off with him. The whole time, both of them are crying (which Paul Wesley did an amazing job, BTW) and Elena leaves. This frustrated me so much that I threw one of the biggest fits I've ever thrown after watching TV. I literally threw myself on the ground (well, there was a mattress there) and I was screaming and kicking and my mom was crying and my grandpa probably thought I was possessed or that I've finally gone off the deep end. Needless to say this frustrated me so much that I had to write about it. All these months of watching Vampire Diaries and I thought I liked it better than Twilight. For one the acting on the female side of the equation is much better. The other biggest thing that made me like it much better than Twilight is that Stefan never leaves Elena because he understands that he needs to be there to protect her. And what does stupid Elena go and do, she breaks it off with him. I thought they were stronger than that. This is not the way that true love is supposed to be and it makes me want to rip out my hair. I would never let Katherine win, never, if that was me. OMG, this just makes me so mad. I don't know anymore....

Gross, my toenail fell off....EWWW!!!!

I thought I would talk about my day. Some interesting things happened.
First I went to the opening of the Disney Store. They gave away Mikey ears to the first 250 people. It was pretty cool I guess. Here's a picture of the hat:



Then, I decided to alter some leggings I have, so when I was trying them on, I took off my socks and I realized that my toenail was coming off, so I took it off. It looks so disgusting. Here's some pictures of that:



Oh and if you couldn't tell from that picture, I just painted my nails. I used a regular red and Ruby Pumps by China Glaze, which is a glitter, on top of that. I want to own a car painted that color one day, that would be so awesome.





In other news, I made a video for a contest on GreenDayAuthority.com, which is the best Green Day Fansite Ever. Anyways, here's that video:


And I just listened to the GDA podcast because they announced the winner at the end, and I found out I didn't win. But the guy who did win did a pretty good job. Here's a link to that: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB1Ffc4KIV4&feature=player_embedded
I'm not that upset that I didn't win. It was pretty fun making it. This is definitely not as upsetting as losing the Wanna Be Green Day Contest at the Tilted Kilt. We should have won that. I thought we were good enough to be in the top three, but whatever. Hopefully I will have some other opportunity to meet Green Day.

What else do I have to say? Oh yeah, this is day 4 of me wearing contacts. I remember I tried to wear contacts at least 7 years ago. It was a major fail. This time was much better in comparison. I'm still a glasses person, but I need to keep wearing the contacts so that I can wear them on Saturday for the Paramore concert and not have to worry about losing my glasses. And also so I can take pictures on my DSLR easier. The whole contacts thing started because at Green Day we were getting killed in the pit because Billie Joe makes people go crazy. Anyways, my glasses got all disgusting and I couldn't see out of them and also, they kept falling off when people would land on my head when attempting to crowd surf. It was a great show though, one of the best times I've had, and also the most sore I've been after a concert (the only time that could maybe beat it was Bamboozle Left a few years ago during MCR). I looked really disgusting and sick too after I got out. And yesterday (9/13) was the 9th anniversary of me getting my braces of. Anyways, I think that's all the updates I have. Oh yeah, and I can't wait for my niece to be born, it would be nice if it was soon before I went back to school.

Well, this ended up being a life update, instead of an update of my day, but whatever. Until next time.

Groin pull? On a girl? Is it possible?

Why yes it is, in case you're wondering. How do I know this you may ask. Well, it's because is happened to me and I'm a girl. What a lucky person I am. It happened yesterday (Wednesday the 14). How did it happen? Well, thanks to Jillian Michaels I was doing plié [plee-AY] jumps and I guess I squatted down too far and I pulled the muscle. How great because I'm going to Disneyland on Saturday and Comic Con is next week. So anyways, I'm sitting here with a heating pad and I kinda feel weird, like I'm getting shocked, but it's a very light sensation.

P.S. I don't really feel pain anymore because of the painkillers and muscle relaxers, but it really hurt at first.

I'm Sorry

Ok, so apparently yesterday's post was a giant overreaction. Everyone who has seen the cupcake pops think they actually look like cupcakes and everyone who has eaten them has really liked them. I too must admit that I've eaten about 10 (if not more) of them because I like them so much. So, I'm sorry for sounding kinda psycho, but that's how I felt yesterday, but apparently I was wrong. It's nice to be wrong about something bad for once. Usually when I'm wrong it sucks, but this time was ok. However, there were some things I said yesterday that I won't take back. It was a lot of hard work. It was very time consuming and my feet hurt. But I guess it has all been worth it after seeing people's faces when they eat the pops. So it all turned out ok in the end, it was a test run after all and a learning experience. Except for, I think I probably gained 5 pounds (no seriously, I had to go back to my bigger pants because my looser pants were really tight on me.)

Why do I fail at life so hard?

I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL

at life. Geez, it just seems like everything I've done in the last couple days has just been a failure. I can't do anything right and now I just hate myself. It's come to the point where I just want to be shot and be put out of my failing misery.

Exhibit A:

I have failed yet again. I tried to make cupcake pops and just ended up with a mess. The cake wasn't the fail. That was actually pretty good tasting. It was the rest of it that failed really hard. Actually, maybe the cake did fail. It was really greasy when I was trying to roll it into little balls. That was so disgusting. Man, I used to really like baking, but the last couple attempts I've made have failed miserably. I hate myself.

From Food Creations

Absolutely nothing about this was a success. Every step kept getting worse and worse until I just wanted to smash everything.

This is what it's supposed to look like: http://www.bakerella.com/make-your-cupcakes-pop/

I wish I could just be good at one thing. But I'm not. I suck at everything I do, and then when I finally think I'm doing something right. I realize it's wrong or suddenly I can't do it anymore. I hate myself and I hate my life. But there's no one to blame but myself and the crap luck that I have. I don't blame my parents and I don't blame God. I just blame me and life. Not everyone can be a success. I know I'm not the biggest failure ever. I know that there are others out there that definitely have it worse than me. But right now, none of that seems to matter.

It's times like these when I think, "gosh Rachel, you're such a failure. Why don't you just give up on life. The world would be a much better place without you. Or maybe it doesn't even matter because it's not like I even made a difference in the world. I'm just a tiny spec, tinier than all of the other human specs on the face of the planet. Nobody even knows my name." But then something good usually happens to get me out of my depressed mood. Well, I'm waiting....I'll probably be waiting for the rest of my sad life.